Being "Selfish" to Protect your Inside, is Selfless.

Im so in LOVE

now i love to cry
even for sorrow im so alive when i feel
i can feel emotions as they come.
no need to suppress.
i was aggravated, worried, disappointed because of my love
i even said to my father, 'i feel upset.'
its okay. i mean no harm.
im not upset, im not an upset person..
i was filled with this emotion, this energy.
i didn't like it at first, i think i feared it wouldn't end.

i deal with a repetitive fear based in my history.
i was not just sad but clinically depressed for a long long time
years. i have gone months with only forced smiles. self abuse.
i know i don't want that to return. if if it does..
im the only one responsible.
which i love :)
i have the power to change, and change it.

Im not a sad person. no.
im creative and goofy.
i try hard sometimes too hard to make others laugh.
ill bend over backwards for you and even those who see me as there enemy.
im a nice kind sensitive person.
and i need to say this.
we all need to have someone love us.
it starts inside.

i pat myself on my back.
i hope you do the same to yourself.

It is natural to fear the actual suffering of fear
this drives many to hide in churches
or behind pipes.
but thats okay.
you chose to get over it.
and you will
for there is something called infinity
it i hope it applies to time.

and now im in love
we've come far, dear ones.
and its a much deserved hug we receive from anyone
anyone who smiles at there lover, or child, or mother.

please don't cry the tears of fear.
they rhyme for reason.
we know this, you know it feels icky.
we don't want to see you cry
its hard when you don't want our help
we just care.

and as a parent care may seem like anger
it isn't.
don't drink, don't hit, don't abuse, don't spread and lie
to yourself first.
being "selfish" to protect your inside, is selfless.

no need for end.
how about spiral?



<3 Thad Kindful and yours,
thank you.