Entangled Ego and Personality

TK has a healthy body, a semi-productive mind, active imagination, and a personality.  -self narrative

I now am comfortable in my personality, assets and liabilities. I find what i have to offer the world to be very deserve and in some areas in-depth. I would say i am persevering, curious, open minded, appreciative and compassionate. As also i can be flaky, unreliable, argumentative and obsessive when i am stressed. I have been trying to distinguish the separation of my ego from my personality. I have now concluded that identifying myself to my personality does not due my true nature justice. My ego is so firmly entangled with my personality it has effected almost all of my behavioral patterns. I AM not my behavioral patterns, most of these are habits and immediate response policies.

In sitting in silence i came to understand that even my sense of humor, that I have identify with, is NOT me. Trying to figure out what I AM, i decided to state what i know isn't me. My ego, first off.

My Ego, is not an enemy, not a friend, but a temporary companion on this adventure. A different way of viewing things. He is also beautiful and, just there. My(the) Ego is under the constant unshakable belief that there is danger around and we must be afraid. That i should fight, try and control and run from things. My ego like to pleasure himself..be it with drugs, pride, complements, women, achievements, distraction, laziness--the temporary quick-fix is his thing. ALL show, ALL transparent.  may sound negative, but this is not my(one's) true nature. true being.


So that is my ego. He is mostly afraid of being alone. This happens when he thinks we are in jeopardy of loosing what we have; be it trust, statute, friends, affection..etc... Mostly my ego is in fear of being alone, for we have felt intense depression for extended lengths of time and almost fully believed we were alone through all of it. (CRITICAL point *My ego believes there is separation) Me and my ego grew together, shaping this thing called personality. We learned how to manipulate others to make us feel safe, secure, and pleased. We learned that we were not better, faster, stronger, more attractive, cooler than those around us so we feared for ourselves in that we would be alone and sad. Depression was a core personality formation.
Seeing how me and my ego grew together did not grieve me but gave me a more detailed map to where i might find myself, or what i could identify as a self?!



When it comes to the things that i value highly about myself i view these things -perseverance, curiosity, acceptance and Love. If i take away the ego, and understand why he had formed, i can see more of who i am. And why i needed to experience the the suffering of ego. When i take away the ego i see myself start to merge with those around me. YET I STILL have individuality, not the kind my ego sought for recognition, but the signature code of who/what i am. The specif blend of _____ that makes me. Stardust, light, matter, pure consciousness, source, ether, holy spirit.. i am not really sure.
But i walk alongside my ego today, i am not my ego; we are only temporarily connected. teaching each other about the nature of and walking towards common goal.




Thanks for reading, i support words and thinking. Enjoy the day, being mindful of the ego may assist one in much growth.
-ThadeousKnoxford

B-Day

Today is my Happy Birthday <:-)

thanks for the support readers and followers, much love. Apriciate you'all.

-April 18th
-Thadeous Knoxford
-  <3

Statement of, .. "IS"

123

consciousness IS

con·scious·ness

  

noun

1.

the state of being conscious;  awareness of one's ownexistence, sensations, thoughts, surroundings, etc.

2.

the thoughts and feelings, collectively, of an individual or ofan aggregate of people

3.

full activity of the mind and senses, as in waking life

4.

awareness of something for what it is; internal knowledge

5.

concern, interest, or acute awareness

this word IS, is...limitless ___ describing description, opening the ballots, implying that there IS. 

is3rd person singular present of be (Verb)

Verb:

Exist:  Used with a present participle to form continuous tenses

this being said. IS can be used in these statements, these statements are for expression of this concept to further explain the infinite nature of the implementation of the word IS.

1. There IS a man walking somewhere. 

( is this man walking in a location(somewhere) or walking to a location(somewhere)

2.There IS a man.

(Stating that a man exists. he IS something, somewhere, somehow, at a point in time/space/universe/idea/realm, out of existence, once was, will be, now, in existence, eternal, internal, external, omniternal, terminal, forever, never.

3. There IS.

This has the infinite possibilities in expression in the sense of polarity, the sense of time's endlessness, in the sense of times non-existence or final moment. Possibilities of ANY and ALL states of "____" there is NO containment unless chosen for this statement. Limitless. divine. scientific. reasoning. reason-less. unshakable. finint/infinite. elementary. complex. ageless. .... there IS no end for description, although in perceived my current state of being i cannot list all these possibilities.

IS, has much to do with potential. 

In cultures present and prevalent IS had much to do with BEING and the state of BEING

IS. This paper IS in its (possibly momentary) conclusion. (at least for this softcopy post)

 

...now what about I AM?

Thanks for reading,

 i appreciate it. I have had a break for sometime. My intentions are to continue more posting but this happening or not are nearly equal in possibilities. I AM in Love. with you. so i thank the exchange of idea. 

-Thad e`-asK

Valley of The EYE <(O)>

Journey into the Valley of the Eye
I started this path at the top of a biiiig hill. I saw before me a steep slope this trail went down, i saw it leading into a big clutter called a city, then a mega-city(capitol) I walked down this path loosing my memory as i walked and aging backwards. I became more afraid without knowing it and eventually started tumbling down the slope...always remaining on path.
I crawled for some time and learned how to stand in this city, i learned how to talk in this city, and i leaned what reality was in this city. this was only ONE city. I started running faster and getting deeper into the high rise buildings filled with cars,TVs,$,Sex, pleasure...I stayed in the city for lifetimes perhaps. I stayed here and wandered and ran through the streets searching in every direction, the whole time remaining on this path.
And finally i saw a glimpse of the other side of the valley, the pathway through and out of the city. I saw glimpses of that path that i KNEW i would walk. I saw it behind the buildings and across the streets. I eventually made it there and saw a looooong steeeeeep road leading up and away from the city. I passed through small towns on my way through. These towns held much nicer people and comfort in having little. I climbed this pathway sometimes rock but always moving forward. Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly.
As i got to the top i looked back and not only saw the city but the path i took to get down to the city beforehand. I kept climbing now and recalling more and more of my lost memories. Now i entered holy lands and magical Forrest filled with colors i hadn't seen in a long time. As i walked i remembered the others i had known and there desire for end-of-suffering... it was not for me to go back to them so i made sure the path was clear. The Forrest became densely covered in ancient growth yet i made sure that others would could use my footpath.
The pathway i had walked for SO SO so long was now centimeters thick i had grown far greater in side and smaller too... this path was no more and the hill valley finally closed its eye.

\_<( 0 )>_/

This is part of my understanding of The Eye of Reflection in its symbolism to explain the landscape i decided to encounter.



-it has been some time. Much forward motion in ALL aspects of my life&livelyhood. More too come but no timeline for this. MuchchchUUchh love as always and peace of mind too you for the taking.
-ThadKnoxford

Gaia of Seven Chakras

i didn't draw this

I'm drawing a picture and relating the Seven Body Chakra system to our mommy Gaia. This is from our energetic bodies in comparison with the different levels of mass and matter we encounter when observing our planet as a whole.

Crown Chakra (Sahastrara )
7th- Crown-Consciousness grid/the space atmosphere mesh. our outer ring (ether element)

Third Eye Chakra (Anja)
6th- Third Eye-Sky/wind/lighting/tornado/weather/ pressure (air element)

Throat Chakra (Vishudda)
5th - Throat-The lands/mountains & wildlife, All of earth we walk on. Animals and plants, All the voices of Earth. Volcano's earthquakes, mother nature speaking. (earth element)

Heart Chakra (Anahata)
4th -Heart-The Sea, water ALL water in all bodies and in ocean+river+rain and moisture. the fluid all depths of sea as well (water element)


Solar-Plexus Chakra (Manipura)
3rd - The Mantle, the lava and magma, the molten metals and elements that make up the incredible mass of heat under the seabed. (fire element)


Sacral Chakra (Svadisthana)
2nd - The outer core of our planet's inner core. Composed of incredible dense material mostly iron i believe. Everything is close and together and HOT!

Root Chakra (Mualdhara)
1st - The Core of our planet. The iron-nickel crystalline dense magnetic powerhouse! The absolute lowest and most gravitational beginning on our planet and mommy Gaia!



gnarly, we've covered the bases fo sure. We even got the 5 elemental archetypes!! I should draw this in color, but for now we've got a neat correlation of the number seven
#7 is becoming significant to me more and more since the inspiration of receiving a white onyx seven pointed pyramid for xmas,
SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN

much love to our mommy
thad, <3
 :-)

YouTube video

A friend of mine gave me the idea of turning blogging into vlogging

the V being VIDEO makes such a different word (sarcasm isn't dead)

I decided to make a video on something comfortable to me,

i talked about some crystals i had and showed my rocks off

i will but a link to the video, for the future, if i make any video 

it will be posted up here too. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaoTjjQ57e8&feature=plcp&context=C33e4a4dUDOEgsToPDskJUVIFlUseTkY3zs_AFwHEr 

<3 thadeous

Zadkiel and Kobe

I had a conversation with archangel Michael last night (which just happened to be xmas eve) I was speaking to him about my feelings of grief i had, towards those i had harmed. Being of they old friends, ex girlfriends, old enemies, and my old dog.

When the dog came up there was much emotion attached to this so we addressed this. I was a little supprised of this for i had dealt with his death remarkably! It was beautiful in the sense of an end of his stay with us. He was 13 and a big ol' golden retriever mutt. I had been well prepared and thi swas expected he was me and my dad's dog. 

...Thats the picture of the past senerio..

I asked Michael what more can i do??

He smiled and told me "Go and ask Tzadkiel."

i was a little confused and wasnt sure i was receptive of his message.

He is laughing with me right now!

He said again and more firmly

"Go and ask Tzadkiel." (also spelled Zadkiel)

I laughed and called upon Zadkiel, The Archangel. Angel of mercy and forgiveness. Zadkiel greeted me and asked how he could help, i told him i am not sure how i need mercy or forgiveness or how i may apply these to this situation of guilt with my dog?

I felt his support and looked at his complete forgiveness as well as my old dog Kobe's forgiveness as a way of helping my guilt transmute.

this is what i enocuntered 

I didn't understnad

I hadn't acceptaded

I did have compassion

but not total forgiveness. That is where i spoke with my old dog Kobe

I told him i am sorry that he was alone so much, i put of playing with him as i grew older and he wasn not allowed inside. I felt so bad because of this. I had spent the last year and more of his life SIDE BY SIDE with him. I felt sadness that i presume he did when he was alone. I still feel this at times.

But Kobe told me, with the support of Archangel Zadkiel " It's okay, let's play!"

That was Kobe's biggest worry. Haha he didn't care about it. I WAS there. Maybe this is because he doesn't see time like we do and/or many other factors. All i know is that everytime i feel guilt and speak with Kobe he always says..

"It's Okay, dosen't matter, LET'S PLAY!!"

i was curious why he gives me the same answer but i now understand that this is because i keep giving him the same data!!

he is well and happy in the many places he IS. What a joy. 

I thank the Archangel Michael and Tzadkiel, And the support of the Kobe and of his ancestors

:-)

me and Kobe

-thankyou,

much love and peace.

Gemstone Chakras

Gemstone/Crystal/mineral Chakra pieces. This is my new crystalline light Chakra set in place to represent beauty, perfection, connection to Gaia Matter and Light n' Love. From Crown to 3rd Eye, Throat, Heart, Solar Plexus, Sacral, and Root Chakra. 

Crown Chakra: Quartz

Third Eye Chakra: Amethyst 

Throat Chakra: Sapphire

Heart Chakra: Emerald 

Solar Plexus Chakra: Topaz

Sacral Chakra: Carnelian 

Root Chakra: Ruby

Much love, and thanks for reading or Looking at these beautiful pictures via Google Image search. :-) cheers!

-TK