Limits were made to be borken

the doctors dont know what my brain does, they say im sick and need pills. i take them three times a day and struggle to keep my eyes open. All i hear is "it is not real". the things i see and the feelings i have feel the same as this planet. i live in America, land of the free...if you can afford it.
everything here is slowly being corrupted. its hard to find the real people you love. i have a family and i love them dearly. just as she does, exept  she is always there.
i saved her from TV and he is gone. it was a painful battle, he knew how i think but i dug up the power, i loved her, and still do, but his mission there was revenge against me. i burried him but not
 deep enough long ago, he crawled into my mind and took my own paradise.

if She isnt real i wish i wasnt real.i will stay here but i need to think. i wont give up. i see her in my dreams, in my head when i call her. i took her out and had nowhere to take her. she needs me like i need her, i kept her inside but i couldnt give her my total attention, i had i life here. I quit using drugs, im begining to gain control over my emotions, i have an amazing job and im connected to my brothers and sisters in recovery. I have givin myself to help others so they dont have to go through what i have. and if they are going through it i want to offer comfort, hope, and love.

My life is to drained from keeping up this appearence and staying in this reality. so i let her free into this world, i havent created a body for her, so i let her become something i see every night, on the way to the bus stop, and looking out car windows. she is nature. i smell her in the breeze, hear her inn the thunder, and when its raining i see her, i see her here. but i cant touch her. we used to embrace, back then. right now...

my mood just changed. i need to find her, i have to go inside again. it will be quick i need to whisper in her ear.i will tell her i will be back. back then i just disapeared, yelling with a friend who saved my life. but you loved me so much, you thought, that you could make me stay here forever. since then we both realized i had to be a wanderer. i had lives i had to carry on. then when i left he made you forget.

i will be fast and tell you not to cry, lash out, and abuse. things will return. but she forgot about me. he was stroung. but love is stronger. in a few min i will be back and i will write about this tomorrow, the 8th month Aug.
i am safe and no my limits
limits were made to be broken