Insomniatic Ideas and what i saw in October

I can either sleep for 2 hours until i have to get up or stretch.. or focus on my breathing
its not the night that scares me its being alone in the dark. thats when i remember and fear what can become.
Seraquel slows down any moving thing and it does, but light speed is pretty fast..
2AM in the morning is amazing when the moon is so bright it makes the texas high noon seem dim. When it is like this my eyes thank me, this is how the function best. I want to live on my own time schedule and only be awake during the night.
I could stay outside with the animals and nature. Sit on a boulder or duck into a cave. Put my feet in a murky stream as i look up at the stars shining through the naked trees. If i can control my fear i amaze myself with the power of my mind and what i can do outside of my body, by going into my mind.
OBE's are the strangest feeling as you move. I see things like through a panaramic camera that zooms towards what i find interesting. I saw a neighborhood football game and i watched the parents cheering their kids to victory. I walked into a bush and fell back into my house.
I have a very deep connection with the night sky when the moon is full. I went camping this past October a week or so before Halloween when i had the most amazing experience probably of my life at that point.

I cant explain what happened and this makes me mad, it was beautifully fearful beyond words. It was hallucinogenic, and i dissociated, and came to see and think in "broken" thinking patterns. I saw music. This is all natural biochemistry yo, and that night was the beginning of my year. and the end of an older chapter.
I sat in the back of  the yard i grew up in, i set up a tent in the day and when it came to nighttime i sat with my dog Kobe, i showed him he wasnt alone and i loved him. he let me have my alone time.
The dome started rockin' and i saw a door. floating in the grass, i opened it and knew i had to face my fear sometime. The only way i could grow was to become stronger than what i knew to be the scarriest thing to me, myself.
visions of how people percieve eachother socially and how we view ourselves. the concept of non-duality began to make sense again, began. i saw i had moer options than i ever knew, nothing was hopeless. I saw parallel senerio's and universes in which i had made different choices in the past. i saw what would have become and i was great full for what i had/have now. What is this thing everyone percieves as the devil? i saw mine and it was the corner, i kept seeing the eye.
this eye was first a circle that was broken. it was a closed eye hallucination and if i thought about it and became afraid it grew and intensified to a massive wavelength of irribility. It looked at me and was MY eye. Truly scary and i saw it for weeks.
I see it now but it is different, i realized it is nothing to be afraid of, it is a vortex a spiral, an eye or a sphere. A gateway into Sureality. now through meditation i acces this portal as a energy wave of calm clarity and i accend into a new plane. It takes much focus and intense relaxation. I dont smoke cigarettes anymore and excersize daily while eating healthy with vitamins and FISH OIL. I need my body to support my mind so that i can grow into the light and share all your emotions. we all are anyways.
Non-Dualistic Love we share, yo

typo's :(

TK