Empathy

i havent posted anything in a while due to the times. this is a thought on facing fear and a very powerful solution/tool. i also wrote this with a very dear friend in mind who i send her love. enjoy and checkout this fractal! (0_0)'

kids look up at us, the older kids. and we look towards the even older kids, being adults. And those adults look to the sky. But most adults look to others who look at the sky. In the sky lies the answers to our questions and the taller we grow, the older we get, the higher we may ascend into this knowledge and it becomes clearer. knowledge is power bill nye said, and the TV never lies. but I'M speaking about alignment for enlightenment and awakening to our total conscience state of absolute awareness...via LOVE

i wanted to fight those who teased me and all the ones i envied for they have been better than me at sports or made better grades. I developed a hatred towards the ones who had better looks and bodies looked better than mine and i hated those who laughed about me and thought i was weak, dumb, and useless. how did i show this hate towards them? many fight, many over-achieve, i swallowed that fire and kept it inside, making that hate for them rest next to my heart. the ball of hate i made for them i held..i kept it with me everywhere i went down the hall and to the playground. when they laughed or i saw him get this, and him get her, the same thing happened it grew. it got bigger so i kept swallowing down all this hate. i had a solid black hate orb resting just next to my very own heart. that only i put there.

me carrying this had no effect on my enemy's health. in fact may at times made them feel better about how they were above me. this black orb smelt like spoiled cheese, and was far too heavy for me only an elementary school aged kid. i was alone and scared only with this orb. but why didn't i throw the orb at them in there face! or crush it to bits and sprinkle it in there juice box and watch them drink it, or trick them into taking it from me..? Because i knew it was wrong. I knew how bad it felt to have hate and this deeper level inside of me knew it was wrong to use against anyone. period. 

I didnt want to become a bad guy, in the movies i watched the good guy always wins, get the girl and lives a happy life. i didnt want to be the one punishing them all no matter what they did. it wasn't worth it and they diddn't deserve it. i would never strike an enemy out of hate, this gives them the basic reason to fight too, saying "He hit me first!!"  So i did the right thing by hurting myself??

i hadn't the knowledge then of what and why i felt this ball of hate. but i knew that the more i filled it with the heavier it would be. i would change from carrying that orb around, i would grow to be more afraid of others, loose trust in things, there could birth pessimism, develop nasty habits, and i could break. this ball would continue to grow if not dealt with. no running, hiding, reasoning or avoiding and i knew it wasnt worth fighting. How do you get rid of hate??

I was afraid now, of what this orb had the potential of creating, mass destruction in EVERY area of my life. "The man who walks with a limp has had a wound." I would become a slave to a burden i created. 

I sat down in the mud after i finished crying. i had run out of tears. I wished i had my parents i felt alone. the bell rang and the other kids passed running as i sat still. they looked at me and kept going,..they didn't see my pain. They didn't see my black Orb of hate, they only saw me. they saw me and how i acted not WHY i acted or that i had a ball attached to my heart, they didn't see my pain but only how spoke with them. and if the ball of hate snuk into my words or into my actions others saw it only as "I" was mean, not that i was trying to escape this ball of hate inside my chest.

The ones that made me mad, who called me names and teased me..i couldn't see if they had and black orbs of hate in them. To scream and name call and hit and punch sounds like they are victims of hate. they are crying to get there balls out.(sorry if that sounds wrong) 

Now i sat in the mud with the knowledge that i wasn't alone in experiencing this fear, and hate, and depression and that i once saw those who hurt me as not those acting horrible, but those who must be carrying nasty powerful pain and lash out at the expense of others. so now i see i have no enemy in them, they couldn't control there emotion and hit me.

Now they have that orb filling up again in themselves for they know not to fight and feel regret for hitting me. He now feels sorry about hurting me and feel angry at himself. it is my job to let him know it is okay, that i forgive him. that i understand and have felt the same.

how do you get rid of hate?

empathy is how to stop hating. 

its powerful and healing

send it out to all you know, love, and hate

they,we, and me love you.

<3

ThadeousKnoxford