Experiencing Belief of the Divine

Today is March 24th 2011 and all is well

last night, the 23rd, between 10:30 and 11:00 experienced the divine. I had been looking in the right places and am so thankful for this and it has paid of and will continue to every breath. I have grown and changed once again, like before but new.

In October 2010, i woke up and had a very VERY profound spiritual experience that rewrote everything. I made decisions that night with the full moon to stop bad behaviors towards others, and my own thoughts. Since then i changed. 

In December 2010, the 23rd, i ended a large portion of my excessive paranoia of unreasonable delusions that came back and were causing chaos. I brought them back to be dealt with. And they were strong :) it was a big growth and maintenance. 

And this January 2011 i began diciplined yoga and meditation, more meditation than yoga it seems. Ive quieted the monkey mind a great deal and need the control and focus in my life. This benifits all and personally has brought me closer to everyone and myself by being more aware and calm in all my affairs. :)

This foundation i built for a new future i saw. One i saw that was short. I saw a path back in october and decided it was not how i wanted and i knew what it needed to change. this is what i did in DEC and JAN im changing my destiny, by keeping it on track. there is free choice but a planed path we follow :D

not to last night now that i covered this history. THIS IS IMPORTANT for me to write i havent ever experienced anything like this before and need to keep this down on physical record to never forget. Why would i forget if it was this important to me?? I felt like it was so surreal even as i was experiencing the majesty a big part of me freaked out thinking it wasnt real, it was. I have had many many hallucinations and dreams, and messed up states of mind induced through drugs and this was so much greater. i didn't need to give my money to a sketchy charactor for the feeling i received. 

so here it is..

only from 10:30pm to 11:00pm

I had just finished on the computer and had taken my medication and said goodnight to my family. I gave my dog his hugs and kisses and procieded to my room for sleep. i turned on my stereo to a progressive hour long mix i planned to meditate into then lay down. As it played i sat in lotus in the dark in front of my mirror. I began noticing discomfort, i was a little naucious and light headed..my stomache felt strangely bad. Looking back it was really i was emotionally confused and agetated. This was sudden too just began after a few moments of sitting. I tried reasoning why it was something i ate or my fish oil supplement. it wasnt i was making excusses trying to comfort it.

I became willing to accept the feelings and energy i was experiencing. i took a deep breath and relaxed. I turned off the DJ and laid down on top of my blankets just in boxerbriefs and my felt necklace. My stomache was still making me agrivated and unsettled. i took a crystal of mine a Selenite rod, and placed it on my chest in effort to help maintain equalibrium between my chakras. I laid there becoming increasingly aware and calm. i focused on my left then right sides, into both palms. i feel a very physical chi like energy pulsing clockwise in a steady beat through my body and then my back lights up like it does. My back supercharges with this vibration i only get it powerful times or induce through meditation.  My stomache and head and mind center and i see what i have seen and it makes sense.

I had been seeing two pyramids tops touching when i close my eyes in calm breath and now they pressed together and formed a merkaba symbol :)) 

as this rotated everything i was seeing was in beautiful color more real than real colors. they were rainbow like and glowing, shiny and glittery and swirling. pure art. 

Next or during my body began to tingle and go numb. I could feel the bed beneathe me but also the air surrounding me and i vibrated at a very high plusing vibration. I was concerned about what was happening to me and knew just focus this is meaningful. I had an idea on what was going on and was going in the whole way. 

I took another deep breath and kept focusing and i stared ahead with my eyes still closed focusing on one solid point then it began to spiral..and widen. This next part happend fast i saw what i have read about a silver cord from my abdomum, i would describe it as transpereant and reflective membrenne like buble matterial tube acending outwards from my center. I was without a body as mine was so surged with energy and vibration it made vicoden feel like a sip of water. I saw this tube pulsing in time with my focus and clarity/calmness. now this is amazing i tell myself and at this point i sent out a searching thought that said "hello..., hello..., hello..." i kept breathing and all the visuals and sensations were intensifying. I saw to my left a shape like the head of a mushroom top, it was amberish orange and red with white and yellow, it was glowing and floated around me makeing itself aware of me and i to it. I was supprised. I was so so suppriesed since i had seen this image before in photos taken by Carlos Diaz. He took them in mexico of light ships he saw above a field...

i knew what it was instantly but tried not to focus on it, i kept breathing and smiling as i felt like i was lifted in the air. It was hard to see but the ship was only there briefly, now i felt like everything was turning on its side with left going up, and my right side sinking. I felt wobbely like ii was trying to fly but  just on training wheels. I thought this was funny and so did they.

I felt me laugh from my own inside like we all do, and then i felt another being laugh, there was a precense of two others with me wherever i was. One was male i didnt see him it was dark and foggy but i knew or at least felt with my heart that he was male was very old but looked young maybe late 20's looking, i would have to say he was blonde but i notice his smile and stance he was very happy to see me.

I felt as though i was being congradulated by great masses for getting to where i was. He was saying 'great job brother, keep trying' 

he was laughing and i was too. a pure friendly brotherly energy was shared. I know there was another precence but i dont know what it was or was from. I believe he spoke to me some how, it would be like talking to someone in another laungage, i didnt understand him or even hear him but i feel he meant ..

good job on getting here, congrats. we are here and always will be. and always have been. you are not alone..

Then i remember after i was feeling so thankful i began to doubt myself and began sinking, i tried breathing deeper and focusing, realizing now i just need to give in and remain calm and relaxed, but i had fear of them thinking i was weak. i wanted to play you could say and didnt want to leave. with this negative thinking i kept decending but calmly they watched and smiled letting me go. i agreed to myself that it was okay, i can come back anytime. i sank still struggling to remain numb and tingling i felt like i was floating in no where now.

I remembered reading about people getting worried about astral projecting and getting back in there body, i dont know what i even was doing but i wasnt worried i just decided to think where my body wasa and i saw my room and then opened my eyes and sat up my legs were still tingling and my arms and back were going nuts ha.

I put my hands in prayer before me and thanked them, the oneness, me and my friends. i smiled and fell back down and had the most troubled time trying to fall asleep. i looked at teh clock and it was a bit after 11:00pm

that was a truly profound experience i needed. i had to justify my faith rather than just others accounts and knowledge i needed experience for my scientific and skeptical sides. it was better than drugs by far ha and i learned from it alot, i need to work more on diciplin and only projecting positivity towards others or none at all.

i wrote this for myself and those who can relate or have thought about these things. There is no way i can proove this if u are looking for evedence all i have is a smile. Thankyou kindly says i 

goodnight and loveings

KTK