Memory Hopping to get to the Roots w/ Music

Muladhara

Im ready to go back to it all.

back to my roots.

There was something i forgot, actually i must have pressed it down but whatever happened to me changed the way i perceive things and socialize. I used to be worse, i used to be in much greater pain. i was consumed and was consuming. Its better but i have work. I have a lot of healing to do, and will enjoy it.

This entry i just typed is me going into a trance like state being induced by thought and music. I list the tracks that played as i swam through memories from unhealed wonds. I watched this happen and it did a long time ago. I went in and out through these different tracks each was a different time. This was a part of my past i had to record so here it is. thank you.

A-Trak

-we don't want no Goblins

this is so not spiritual or respectful ha, but i need to listen to this. funky hiphop with house/tek influence.

i can groove to this, im entering this album through this track. This is a latter to my history. A helper to let this depth deepen. 

Trizzy Turnt up-

I had to kiss her, this is dark and all i hear is breathing. I wasn't ready..but i think i was??

i felt not alone here, then. This was 2003 i think. I had an ego problem ha. this is great. I can dance now but this is only because this clip is over. this is the past and i am only a witness, i was so nervous. so was he. but the girls we giggly. they didn't know how hard this was for us guys then. 

The fact i think was i wanted to but chickend out.

O Let's Overdo It-

Now im asleep, or imagining. This is a great loop. I knew i would be back in 2003 when now its 2011 and i'm  doing better. 

I wanted power then. I thought god was weakness a lie and bull. i think i felt that i just didn't understand what others got from there own faith, so i saw it as stupid. i couldn't understand an unseen god, i never had prayers answered so i guess it was gone. I made packs with darkness for power, i still felt fear from god or Jesus. Back then i didn't know what was happening. i hope i do now.

i'm glad its over, it was dark there and drugs began. Vicodin and lies.

She's Got A Dum Donk-.....??

Now i'm high and at a party. i regret my decisions after i came down and faced my great depression. I talked up the wrong people and made myself seem "cool" and it worked. I wanted everyone to think i was a baddass cause i did drugs and they thought i was cool and funny, i was that guy. wow.

I'm still doing okay in this travel :)

The fact back then, must have been 2005/6, was i was hidden and alone and very afraid and thought i was strong when i was high. it was all about women.

Crystal Castles, Vietnam

.

.

I'm leaving and its loud but underwater. I know how this works and have to explain it.

I'm pulling out of a dream, a vision of my past. I see these things happening with equal value just as equally i am sitting in front of this computer and typing with this music. I am here both. Either imagination, my psychosis, or the divine (possible all three) i can have this "split" vision and maintain clarity. 

I have stones tied to strings holding me grounded.

- The colors shift and vortexes exit there paths. Without going here/there i wouldn't feed this to you. I'm different and calm, have been called and labeled as crazy and see this as only a description of who i am. Thus it be, i breathe. 

i'm almost out and its a faint glimmer of color and reverb. echo and i'm waving goodbye looking myself in the eye. I have a tear and wipe it away, i want out. He was Taylor then.

The End

T.he K.idd

i hope this can be understood and dosen't offend. I'm okay and calm. wishes and love.

<3