When i Open my Eyes this isn't All

my body, a jello mold.. i wiggle when touched but bounce back in time.

When i sit down my body, not me, but my body expects me to do something... to grab some gadget, to push some buttons and turn up some knobs, even to open a book. But not now. Right now i choose to sit down comfortably on a pillow with my back to the wall, i choose to grab nothing but my knees or my own hands. I will let my hands rest in my lap easily. Now is not time for TV, or music. I dont want to miss what is happening now.. it is always happening*the present sighh and yawn,, i am here in the moment i choose to sit and 'just be' maybe who i am. Maybe who i am and which way i am going, and where i choose to go.

i close my eyes and try and focus, i may wander if i want as i have many times. but i chose to focus on one thing. This shape..

This shape is my part of my consciousness in a form for the moment. Much like a grid of my mind or a matrix of ideas. I am sitting in a room called earth (Gaia*) here i am this shape. 

re-focus.

where am i on this shape while i think, while 'i am'

'i just am' this shape. as i think i drift into a triangle.. one of the smaller ones.

as i think and feel i zoom inward towards this shape as it apears to become larger.

and distraction i have is represented as an aspect of this shape. I am this triangle fractal. The legendary Triforce *Legend of Zelda

I become and see myself become as this shape before me 'is'

this just 'is' in this now. in this time as it changes and apparently "moves"

here i may now drift towards one triangle..wow there are more triangles within the smaller triangles.

this isn't an end to the minimizing of fractions, as to myself and the consciousness 'i am' and we are part of.

As i go over and into my usual thoughts i hold onto emotion, sometimes through my heart. as i zoom into this chapter of my experiences and ideas of experiences i drift into triangles.

i think of the wrong i am , have done, and have endured.

i think of this cruel-ness filled place on my mind, and see the triangle of "No Hope"

i choose not to enter that triangle for it to has an infinite path which i know very well, i have remembered pain there, somethings is of illusion. when i am ready i will return to transmute  this energy.

I see another triangle i have felt as well, i have felt this many times before but might forget exists. 

 this triangle and all within it glows with brightness more than our central star. this triangle is where i am to go. i chose to go to this triangle. I am there within.

this triangle is of what my heart knows. Not my mind, for in there i have a partner my ego. He tells of hurt, and negative and of the illusion of fear. he does not see through the smoke and mirror he sees with something other than the heart and its light. He barley sees anything.

The heart knows all. There heart was there and will always be, the heart is not meant to hold onto hurt. the heart is for love. The LOVE that is, and is to be shared not only to the gender of affection, not only to the family and friends.

to all on this planet. for we are of ours and of HER*Gaia

i feel silly and smile, sometimes with a tear. i miss this place when i fear. 

but this place is always here. i just need to focus on one breath to trigger this resurrection of the matter of reality. Hah the matter of Surreality !

much love, to the reader. on an individual connection. I shout to Kirk when i mention our mommy :-P

My guides and the masters of light whom are a brother nation of unity.

thankyou for emotion for duhh! we are human :-D

<3