Entangled Ego and Personality

TK has a healthy body, a semi-productive mind, active imagination, and a personality.  -self narrative

I now am comfortable in my personality, assets and liabilities. I find what i have to offer the world to be very deserve and in some areas in-depth. I would say i am persevering, curious, open minded, appreciative and compassionate. As also i can be flaky, unreliable, argumentative and obsessive when i am stressed. I have been trying to distinguish the separation of my ego from my personality. I have now concluded that identifying myself to my personality does not due my true nature justice. My ego is so firmly entangled with my personality it has effected almost all of my behavioral patterns. I AM not my behavioral patterns, most of these are habits and immediate response policies.

In sitting in silence i came to understand that even my sense of humor, that I have identify with, is NOT me. Trying to figure out what I AM, i decided to state what i know isn't me. My ego, first off.

My Ego, is not an enemy, not a friend, but a temporary companion on this adventure. A different way of viewing things. He is also beautiful and, just there. My(the) Ego is under the constant unshakable belief that there is danger around and we must be afraid. That i should fight, try and control and run from things. My ego like to pleasure himself..be it with drugs, pride, complements, women, achievements, distraction, laziness--the temporary quick-fix is his thing. ALL show, ALL transparent.  may sound negative, but this is not my(one's) true nature. true being.


So that is my ego. He is mostly afraid of being alone. This happens when he thinks we are in jeopardy of loosing what we have; be it trust, statute, friends, affection..etc... Mostly my ego is in fear of being alone, for we have felt intense depression for extended lengths of time and almost fully believed we were alone through all of it. (CRITICAL point *My ego believes there is separation) Me and my ego grew together, shaping this thing called personality. We learned how to manipulate others to make us feel safe, secure, and pleased. We learned that we were not better, faster, stronger, more attractive, cooler than those around us so we feared for ourselves in that we would be alone and sad. Depression was a core personality formation.
Seeing how me and my ego grew together did not grieve me but gave me a more detailed map to where i might find myself, or what i could identify as a self?!



When it comes to the things that i value highly about myself i view these things -perseverance, curiosity, acceptance and Love. If i take away the ego, and understand why he had formed, i can see more of who i am. And why i needed to experience the the suffering of ego. When i take away the ego i see myself start to merge with those around me. YET I STILL have individuality, not the kind my ego sought for recognition, but the signature code of who/what i am. The specif blend of _____ that makes me. Stardust, light, matter, pure consciousness, source, ether, holy spirit.. i am not really sure.
But i walk alongside my ego today, i am not my ego; we are only temporarily connected. teaching each other about the nature of and walking towards common goal.




Thanks for reading, i support words and thinking. Enjoy the day, being mindful of the ego may assist one in much growth.
-ThadeousKnoxford

The Ego and the Heart

Color Pixels 

The ego is wonderful, i say this with only a little sarcasm.
Mine did a great job protecting me like an older brother would to a crippled younger brother.
Yes!! success we did it friend :)
Look at us!
:-)
Oh wow we made it far this time didn't we :) and i thank you.
i couldn't have done this without you. I could not hove done what i have without your presence in my head.
Now Mr.Ego, or what i once called 'me' or 'i' .. you did an amazing job, really you protected me the whole way through. From the injustice's that we saw fit to hide from. sometimes we fought, but not us in particular. We were good at hiding and forgetting :)
Didn't we conveniently forget that shit we did, we did terrible things that were just! we thought.. and then we thought some more, and pondered in guilt and grieved. During this pain we only saw the scary scary world that they all talked about. About murder on the news, and crime and to be afraid. There is a war we must fight or it will come to our doorstep!.. this made sense to us, so we swallowed this fabrication and pulled up our pants, tightened our belt and furrowed our brow. and yelled along with the rest of our scared race.
..sigh remember that Mr.Ego! gosh (side hug)
I am thankful now where i once wasn't..

I say to you my ego, that i am thankful and honor you for a job well done (-_-) you mastered this illusion and kept me safe.
but now it is time for me to do my own growth, just as a baby fly's the coop i must look out upon the open field before me.
You told me of its terrible distress's that the world had for me, and what i shouldn't do because there is a chance i might get hurt, feel bad, be let down or cry.
And this was true.. .. this was your truth :) there are many truths in that sense.

Now I look out upon this world from high atop this nest you grew me, and nor i see flame and thunder and hordes of disaster but i see potential and the simple beauty that everything is where it needs to be, sigh i see a day i am exited to live!

I am no longer the observer in this life path i once followed but now i lead this path as an experiencer.
This means that where i was (which was far away) doesn't matter, that what it did, and said and how they hurt me.. isn't relevant because i am FINE hah :) i can smile can't i??
:)

"Leaning am i to of the ego tells me truths" - Yoda would say this to me i assume

When we hurt who hurts??
When we anger who becomes angered??
When i become upset, disappointed, empty and sad... which one of me feels and becomes this??

To see without the ego you must process reality through the heart.

There is the body mind and spirit
The body has its own consciousness, the mind has many layers (like and onion donkey!) the ego has made itself a comfortable throne on how our perception is thrown.
The spirit has its many forms across this galaxy and universe.
Our presence and consciousness spans not just our infinite universe, but the many we have created and continue to this moment.

which do you choose to live with today??
the one who wakes up and say shit no more cheerios!
:-)
or the one who says shit there are no more cheerios!...hah screw it i think this morning deserves some eggs and a cup of tea. -_-

"We mistake, but can make and create.. so celebrate!!"-Lovelight and others



Thankyou very much this is an important post to me. My life has lined up to where i believe it was supposed to be, in order for tomorrow and the next. I enjoy the act of me speaking from my heart, and through lower minds im sure but i am very very thankful you have taken time to read this :) i hope well for you and your journey and all your decisions to be of your heart. We love you truly <3
-TK,