Lack of Anger, Mass Volume of Understanding

I may lack many emotions at times, and this can cause unease. I may lack joy or calmness, or patience or being thankful but i enjoy lacking anger. I dont seem to be an angry type. I never have been, and when i would feel anger i tend to eternalize or become passive aggressive. Being passive aggressive is just the same in many ways but i cant stand the physical or vocal act of damaging someone/something in the heat of a situation. Understand, im only pointing this out. I may hold the aggression inside which might very well become more destructive, this leads to again the lack of my own POSITIVE emotions. Negative thoughts to say. i think i deal with most thought in relation to emotion..

i see violence, anger, rage and war as weak and clumsy. It is easy to fire a gun in a moment than shake hands and maintain relations even through great differences. I understand why war would seem to be necessary and that it is for the better, i disagree, but it is simple and quick. much more simply if no one notices or forgets and can change the channel to the newest season of american idol.
war divides. simply between friend or foe. to make truce is to make peace, to make peace is to make friend, to make friend one may understand and grow/change together, to unify. it may take longer.

One can and has said that there is nothing easy about war, about the training about the missions and about maintaining morale.. or about the money.. thats the spot.. the money $$$ war is money and is usually what it is ultimately fought for, even if its sold as something different most war, lives lost, are sadly for dollars and percents. 0's in bank accounts.
But this isnt easy either, just easier and less are involved by the public. you dont have to watch as well. but it will make a difference when your neighbors kid comes back from the battlefield in a coffin. that makes the public become involved emotionally. we dont like to cry or loose our loved ones for various reasons all deemebly reasonable, war isnt reasonable. its quick. ..un less it take longer than we were told.
both sides suffer terrible losses. I understand patriotism, and how one may live in its name. i see this with honor the same as you do. i would stand up if standing up was for the best of my country. I would die for a cause worth dying for. (to die for war, to die to end war) How can you know what you sign your life away for when money only has the right to talk over the air, when money is the war and believe me there are other ways. or dont believe me there still are, please prove me wrong.
please dont lie to yourself or let them, being the $'s will, con you into fighting there war.

i just dont want to see my sister die in another country for an empty reason, if it had a reason i might understand but of course still dont want it. i dont want to see anyone cry for lost loved ones nor loose a fight not worth fighting for. it's one thing to fight fire with fire and its another to say were just going to pour gasoline on it and see it burn. but that would be wasting gas, wouldn't it, and oil is money, money is war.


While i am passive aggressive this is still a similar result of fear and the brother of aggression. War is both, and it rages on throughout the world and inside our cities, on the streets and inside our living rooms. between our ears even as we fight our own wars, bombing both sides of our own thought to be unsolvable issues. Violence is a crime, not a solution. im just saddened by what is happening but am grateful for what is trying to be done to end it. but the "battle " to end war and start peace, wont happen until peace hits our own streets.
i said this and feel it, and felt the other side. Im thankful to be alive and pray to those on both sides. inside and out.



tK