A Sigh of Relief (-_-)

In these days i have a difficult time thinking of what i don't have, of what i lack.
I have just about everything i wan't and have always had what i needed.
What more do i need?

i have enough $
fine relations
Improved and improving health
A roof over my head
and food in my stomach
A companion
I have enough time

On my way back to work this morning after i held a meeting i thought to myself, I have it all.
I don't really want much more, in fact more money sounds bad, i don't seek women like i once did, and i have no need for drugs.
What i look forward to is the time i have in my meditation and spiritual becoming. I am no more than you if you scorn :)

"It is naturally easy to be happy, but sometimes hard to not be sad."
-Passenger in the Depths

I want to discuss with you the un-doable we told ourselves, that we couldn't do that was hopeless..the lies we fed to our dreams.
I lied to myself and never corrected past, old, bad, low-fi behavior. Now i am stable enough to bite off that bit and deal with my wrongs.
Cleansing past Karma, LONG term BIG time shit that effects every one i speak with. This was scary but easy once the had part was over.
No i discuss this.

Paralysis by over analyses was my thinking pattern, especially of feminine energies ;-) This was a thinking that started young fragmenting off of middle school and once again things i never dealt with fully, i avoided, forgot, got high, justified.. we don't deserve pain, then why do we drink it??
safety.
I would obsess about how they felt about me, then i would believe the worst. I mad it come true. So many 'what if's' that i said. Did i do the right thing? what does she think about me, what about now??
I had fear of doubt that would create her lust for me to disappear, that what little we had would end. I made this happen so many times..I assumed this was just how it was and was that i was broken.

You see a beautiful girl who keeps winding up with abusive boyfriends, or a guy that can never commit. This will continue life after life, wreak after wreak and potential missed fo-ev-ahhhh :)

Here is the squirmy part our species hates, fears..Change

We will drive into the oncomming traffic again unless we change.
"Ughghhhh but i don't wannntt to blehbleh blehhh"
fine :) if you are happy in the eddy paddel in place.
but fortunately and unfortunately to move ANYWHERE else change is required.
no matter how many times you try and push that key in the door,it will not fit..the door remains locked. But try another key any one.
But change is scary, we fear it.
Try the small key thats barely used. And it fits
it fits with a sigh of relief
(-_-)''''''sigh 




i stuck my neck out the other night, when i faced the painful hopeless, how i kept marching??
knowledge that what ever happens needs to be.

I see Karma as being i don't get what i deserve, but i get what i need from what i made.

Life is beautiful even in death. Our time here is a bilnk in the eyes of our 'I am' self
I offer relife and hope only of the grids approval

-_- many thanks,
TK and LoveLight and 'We Are Our'
Only from the grid